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It starts with you.

“When I started coming, I thought I’d be learning how to lead other people, but I’ve realized it’s about what’s in here.” And she pointed to her heart.
That’s a comment I got a few weeks ago from one of the women who comes to the Quiet Leadership Meetup I’ve been hosting. And that’s exactly it: Leadership starts on the inside.

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Photo Credit: Thomas Hawk (via Flickr)

Finding the Leader within is all about healing, acceptance, and claiming.

Whether you are a quiet leader or not, leadership is an inside job. To find your voice, lead with purpose, and compel others to follow you, you have to know yourself… from your gremlins to your superpowers.

A natural leader is someone who accepts themselves as they are and brings the best they can forward. It’s not about looking like anyone else or doing things a certain way. The most compelling leaders are the ones who show you who they are (whether quirky, edgy, funny, arrogant, humble, or whatever).

Natural leaders aren’t always born that way.

It takes practice and commitment to be who you really are.

It starts with letting go of needing to be perfect or live up to someone’s expectations, and embracing the beautiful human being that you are right now today. Not after you lose ten pounds or make $100K or finally write that book.

Healing and facing your fears is scary business. But the only way is through, so be sure to pack some courage for the journey. And know that you are worth it.

The more you believe in you, the more others will too.

The thing that matters is letting the spark inside of you grow into a flame and then a fire. The brighter it burns, the more lives you can light up. And isn’t that what we all want to do?

Whether your title is CEO, bus driver, or mom. Whether you have a title or not. A title does not make you a leader. Being yourself authentically and touching other people… that makes you a leader.

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

What would it be like to be more of yourself?

(Psst… I’m working on a new course to help you discover and sustain that “You-ness”. Find out more here >>)

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Why self-care & rest are so important.

I spent last week in Sonoma, California, working as an assistant at a leadership retreat (the first of four retreats that are part of the CTI Leadership Program).

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So basically, I moved chairs around, manned the video camera, and sat in the back of the room quietly observing and “holding space” for 6 days.

When I say it like that, it doesn’t sound like very much. But the truth is that “holding space” means staying completely present and open-hearted. And energetically being there in the room with the leaders and participants as one-by-one they were transformed and busted open. For 6 days.

That takes a lot of focus and energy. I didn’t realize how much until I got home.

On Sunday evening when I got home, I was still riding high and I talked Dan’s ear off. But I woke up on Monday feeling like I had been hit with a ton of bricks. And then Tuesday, I felt like someone had shattered the bricks with a sledgehammer.

In other words, I was spent. Tired. Exhausted. Pooped.

So I’ve had to let go of the big plans I had for this week and just… rest.

And I re-learned the importance of good self-care and making time to recover. That’s what this week’s video is about.

Links & stuff about Introversion & HSPs (in case you want more info):

Let me know in the comments below what you do to recover when you are bone-tired? And also, how easy or hard is it for you to give yourself that time? (that is, do you feel guilty or selfish? And if so, why?).

P.S. This week’s post is later than planned (Wednesday is usually my post day) because I didn’t plan for my rest & recovery & self-care the way I should have. Live and learn.

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strike a pose

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Today I thought I’d share another one of my favorite Ted Talks. In it, Amy Cuddy talks about how our body language can change how we feel about ourselves.

Last summer, I completed a 10-month leadership training program which literally rocked my world in so many ways. But one of the things they had us do early on was to have us find our “power movement” (not what they called it, but for our purposes here it makes more sense calling it that).

And we used our power movements to recover from fear, anxiety, doubt, etc.

So when I first saw Amy Cuddy’s talk, I was like: “No way! There’s science behind this stuff!” (and for me that’s always an awesome discovery because I love it when the spirit-stuff and science stuff come together with the same message).

Anyway, here’s the awesome news: you can have a power pose too. For free. Without the 10-month program. Just watch this…

Amy Cuddy: Your body language shapes who you are

Now, go strike a pose.

Have a great weekend!

Photo Credit: The WB