There was a time in my life when I really thought that I was invisible. It certainly felt that way from where I was sitting, and I also did everything I could to make it true (like standing along the edge of the dance floor instead of getting out there and shaking my thang – which I love to do – or averting my eyes using that old “if I can’t see you, you can’t see me” mind game).
But invisibility is not my superpower.
BTW – It’s not your superpower either.
No matter what messages you internalized through the growing-up-years, or the discomfort you may feel when meeting new people, or the desire to disappear when you’re put on the spot. Your superpower is not invisibility, but you do have a superpower (more on that in a minute).
We humans are wired to notice other humans. Our systems are setup such that we want to connect with other people.
In fact, our brains release a dose of oxytocin whenever we do connect with someone or do something nice for someone or even watch someone else do something nice for someone. And oxytocin is the “love chemical”, it makes us feel good. It’s a reward. In other words, our brains want us to make friends and be nice to people.
Even introverts are wired to connect with others. We just sometimes need to take a break or design the connections in a way that suit our preference (so that we don’t burnout).
So if we are all hardwired for connection, how could invisibility be a) possible and 2) desirable?
You are not invisible, and you do have a superpower.
If you were on my webinar last week, you heard me say “Everybody on this planet has a superpower – it is up to you to decide what it is.”
And if you weren’t there, that’s okay. It was my first ever webinar and had a few kinks along with a few nuggets of gold, and I’ll be doing another (better) one soon (stay tuned).
Your superpower is usually something that you do so naturally you don’t even realize you’re doing it most of the time.
And sometimes your superpower is something that you consider a weakness because you were teased or because it “seems weird”.
I spent most of my life thinking that I was boring because people would get really quiet and still when I spoke. I thought I was putting them to sleep. But since I’ve been a coach, I’ve realized that it’s not boredom but relaxation. I’m kind of like a human form of prozac.
One of my clients even called me “a calm port in the storm of life.” That’s my superpower (well, one of them).
Your turn…
Take a look at your own life, what do you do naturally? What effect do you have on others without trying? What is your superpower? Let me know in the comments.
If you’d like to learn more about your own superpowers, check out Cultivating Inner Presence, a group coaching program designed to help you discover your strengths, build confidence, find more success in life and business (without having to “speak up” and “be outgoing”), and much more.
Photo Credit: SuperLéo (boy of steel) by AP Photographie ?, on Flickr
Ha…are you sure invisibility can’t be my superpower? The cloak is so slimming… ;)
I think one of the things I like so much about typing systems is that they can sort of point to what your superpowers might be. Not everyone who scores similarly on a particular test will have the same superpowers, of course, but I think the results can open your eyes to gifts you might have that show up in a unique way in your own mix of strengths and experiences.
I’ve been thinking about what some of my superpowers might be since you talked about them on the webinar. The one that sticks out to me is synthesis…or maybe more accurately finding the through line. I can usually find the unifying thread in something — whether that’s an ebook or blog post or a particular situation or struggle — and clarify it for those involved (even if it’s just myself). Still thinking on what else is in the mix :)
Great point about typing systems, Erin. For sure, knowing your Myers-Briggs or Enneagram (or Voice Values, etc) can definitely help you start thinking about your superpowers.
Of course, just noticing stuff like “I’m usually the one who explains things” can be a clue too.
I’m thinking of creating a Justice League kind of clubhouse, what do you think? We can all get together and share our superpowers. (I’m only sort-of joking).
True! I think for me, noticing and accepting don’t always come together, so having some kind of external validation can be helpful. “Oh, so I’m not just imagining things…” :)
Ha, a League would be awesome. I love the clubhouse idea! The League of Empowered Introverts! The League of Quiet!
I like this superpower idea :) Does Piglet have any superpowers?
Hi April,
Of course, Piglet has superpowers :) I think something around a quiet wisdom and kindness, but what do you think?