Spring Cleaning

May 16, 2013June 16, 2017

the spring cleaning hustle extravaganza jubilee

This is part of my Spring Cleaning series that runs on Wednesdays through the end of Spring. In this series, we’ll explore the things that clutter our lives (especially, mental and emotional clutter) and how to let it go.

Spring is rushing by at the speed of light. Are you keeping up?

I’m not. The last month has been filled with a lot of travel, the Mom 2.0 Summit, speed coaching at a career event, and a whole bunch of I don’t remember.

All that travel, networking, and face-time took a lot out of my introverted-HSP self so after recovering and plenty of rest, I’m just now getting back to “normal life” (is there such a thing?).

And now that I’m home and I’m awake, I notice that the little bits of clutter around the house have grown, reproduced, and been super-sized while I wasn’t looking.

When the clutter gets this bad (seriously, my computer monitor hovers over a mountain range of papers), it can feel overwhelming. And I have those days when I just want to close the office door and go sit on the deck (which needs sweeping but at least isn’t overtaken with boxes, magazines, and stuff).

The reason clutter can feel so overwhelming is we often see it as one big massive thing.
As in: I just don’t know where to start.
And: There’s just so much of it, it’ll take me forever to clean it up.
Or: Can’t I just move and leave it here?

I hear you. I definitely have those days when I’d rather lie on the sofa and watch Psych. But at some point, if what you want is an uncluttered home, you gotta do some uncluttering.

There’s just so much, where do I even start?

I’m a big believer in starting small… just take one tiny step and then another tiny step, and before you know it, you’re at the top of the mountain.

The Spring Cleaning Hustle Extravaganza Jubilee

It’s a decluttering party and you’re invited!

To be part of the party is simple, this weekend:

Pick one thing or one small area, not a whole room or the whole house. Something so small it feels silly even calling it an area. Something like “the right side of my desk” or “dresses”, not “bedroom” or “office” or “garage” or even “clothes”.
Set a timer for 30 minutes and dive into that area until the timer goes off.
Take a break. Treat yourself to a few minutes in the spring sunshine. Do something fun.

And then, if you feel inspired, do it all again.

This is not a formula for perfection.

Let’s say you decide to declutter your hanging clothes. You set the timer, and then pull all of the hangers out and lay the clothes on your bed. You sort for 30 minutes, putting the keepers back in the closet, and setting the donations to the side. The timer goes off, and you have only gone through half of the clothes. What do you do?
A) Leave the clothes on the bed and use them as an extra layer of warmth when you go to sleep.
B) Throw your hands up and say “I’ll never get through it all!”
C) Set the timer for another 30 minutes and sort through some more clothes.
D) Pack up the donations pile to drop off at Goodwill, and return what’s left to the closet to be sorted when you have time on another day.

If you answered C or D, you get a cookie!

I’m going to repeat myself now: this is not a formula for perfection. Perfection is an all or nothing proposition, and if we strive for perfection, we never get started because it feels impossible.

This is a formula for gradual progress.

Enjoy the process. Celebrate the small victories (did you clear off half of your desk? Awesome! Your desk is way cleaner than it was 30 minutes ago, keep up the good work!)

Bonus: Create a 30-minute playlist and shake your groove thing while you bust some clutter.

I’ll be spending at least two 30-minute sessions in my office this weekend in hopes that I’ll find the surface of my desk again. What will you spend 30 minutes decluttering this weekend?

Photo Credit: Éole vi Flickr

May 1, 2013June 16, 2017

have-to vs get-to

Sometimes life feels like a kick in the head.

Have you ever felt stuck or bogged down by all the stuff you have to do?

Of course, you have. Because you are human. We all do at one time or another. Even Life Ninjas are not immune to the stagnating power of the have-to.

I’m not talking about things like breathing, eating, or sleeping. Or even taking a shower or feeding your children. Those are non-negotiables.

I am talking about the things that we let become burdensome.

Maybe you have a hobby you used to love, but because life got busy or maybe you started getting good and that felt like pressure, you’ve let it collect dust and you’re harboring guilt over it. Can’t you just feel the should and have to weighing you down?

Maybe you dream of a killer bikini body and the thought of wearing those perfect jeans actually make you tingle with glee. Then you start focusing losing weight and eventually you focus only on calories and portions and numbers on the scale. Soon it feels like a chore to exercise. And eating a salad feels like deprivation. I have to exercise today, I have to diet, I have to weigh myself, I have to keep a food journal…

Or maybe your hearts desire is to write the next great American novel. And you commit to writing a chapter per week for the next few months. So you start writing, but work gets busy or home life gets chaotic, and at first you’re disappointed you don’t have more time to write, but eventually writing becomes a burden because it drags you away from the urgent needs of the day. I have to write because I made the commitment. I have to write because I haven’t finished my chapter this week. I have to…

Yeah, well. I call bullshit.

Everything is a choice. And you have the power to make whichever choice suits your fancy.

There are no right or wrong answers. Only your answers.

Give your have-to’s a makeover

Take a deep breath (because that’s always a good place to start).
Look at your “have to” du jour. And ask yourself: “What’s important to me about this?“
If you answered “nothing” to #2, great! Either delegate it to someone who cares, or just let go.
If on the other hand, you realized some deep and interesting stuff about why you really do want to be doing this thing, great! Write it down, make a vision board, or something… just be sure to capture the important bits so you can look at it again later.
And now that you know WHY you’re doing this thing, what excites you about it? What’s fun about it?… The answers to these questions are your “Get-to’s” as in “I get to do this!“

Can I get a Hell Yeah!?

Bottom line: If it’s a burden or a “have-to”, give it to someone who does care about it, let it go, or turn it into a “get-to”. Because whatever you do, you get to choose it and you get to do it!

What are you excited that you get to do?

Photo Credit: Spencer Finnley via Flickr.

April 17, 2013June 16, 2017

how to let go even when it feels like you can’t

It’s time to let go.

There is something you have been holding onto for years. You know the thing I mean.

It could be:

a pair of jeans you haven’t been able to wear for five years
a grudge with your brother who has made some bad choices in his life and said some unkind things at Christmas dinner three years ago
a flower vase that your mom gave to you but doesn’t match your style and you never use it and never will, it just sits in the cabinet taking up space
the anger you feel toward your stepdad for listening to your phone conversations in high school
a box of baby clothes in the garage that you keep even though your kids are already in middle school and you don’t really plan to have more at this point

… just to name a few.

But yours is probably different. Whatever it is, whether it is physical, mental, emotional, or familial, no matter if it is a good memory you are trying to hold onto way after its over or a bad memory that won’t leave you alone… no matter what it is, it’s time to let go.

(Note: I’m not saying to let go of the good memories, but the physical things you hold onto may not be adding any real value to your life now. Keep the memories, the photos, and a few small tokens. Let go of the rest.)

These things that we hold onto take up space in our lives. They occupy physical space, emotional space, and often mental space (as we retrace old conversations or dream up new ones that might make it all better). This is space that we could use right now to create new memories or to simply enjoy a full and relaxing breath.

It’s time to get real.

Continue reading “how to let go even when it feels like you can’t”

April 10, 2013June 16, 2017

the tv ate my blog post

Today was supposed to be a writing day.

I had one appointment this morning and then the rest of the day free to write.

In my journal this morning, I wrote: “I will not turn the TV on until after work.” (I work from home & for myself, so “work” is more a state of mind than anything.)

But when I got home from my appointment, I was hungry so sat down with a yogurt (Brown Cow cream-top maple flavor. Best. Yogurt. Ever.) And…

I turned on the TV.

And I watched New Girl, last night’s episode of The Voice, half of Monday’s Dancing with the Stars, and some previews for stuff airing next week.

As if that weren’t enough, I had my laptop handy and got stuck in the Facebook-Twitter-Email-Instagram-Facebook-Twitter-Email… loop while I was watching TV.

Holy Brain Fry, Batman.

Hi, my name is Patricia and I’m a tvaholic.

When I was nine, if my sister wanted to know what was on television at 4:30pm (or any other non-school time slot), she would ask me because I could tell her what was on all of the networks, TBS, plus a few other channels. From memory.

Just a little bit cray-cray when it comes to my TV time.

But here’s the thing: I like television. I love being pulled into storylines and watching characters unfold and develop. It’s part entertainment, part escape, and part education as a writer.

But here’s the other thing: too much of a good thing ain’t so good.

No matter how enjoyable or educational or even productive it may be… too much is too much. And too much leads to fuzzy brains, stomach aches, and burnout.

Too much = clutter.

Last week I said that clutter is anything that comes between you and what you want.

And too much TV has gotten in the way of a lot of stuff I wanted today.

So should I give it up completely? Drop TV like he’s a scrub (aslo known as a buster).

Go cold turkey?

Sure… I could do that.

But I don’t want to cut it to zero. Where is the balance in that?

I’d argue that some things aren’t clutter until there’s too much of it. And balance is important to me (not balance as in everything is equal, but balance like where everything adds up to that “aaaahhhh” feeling… you know?).

What do you think?
Can there be a balance with something like TV or is it all or nothing?

What in your life is “too much” and becoming clutter?

P.S. This morning I proclaimed to Facebook and Twitter that if I reach 100 likes on my Facebook page by this Friday, I’ll push way outside my comfort zone (and do something that feels embarrassing). I will post a video of me “being a party” (see: Kid President’s Guide to Being a Party). I’m just 12 likes away, so won’t you help me out and like my page?

Photo Credit

April 3, 2013June 16, 2017

creating space for more

Photo Credit: LaPrimaDonna via Flickr

Last week I categorized types of mental clutter, and I was planning to step through each of the categories I laid out last week, one by one, with tips on overcoming each type. And I may still do that next week.

But I realized something.

I realized that the categories don’t matter so much. That labeling what kind of clutter it is isn’t important.

What’s important is knowing what is and what is not clutter so that you know what to do with each.

What is clutter?

I’m going to go out on a limb here (a very stable and sturdy limb, that is) and say that all of the stuff that gets in your way (and my way) is clutter.

Whether it’s mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, or imaginary. If it comes between you and what you want, it’s clutter.

We all want something.

Anything and everything from fitting into that pair of jeans to 15 minutes all to yourself to a six-figure business to a tidy home to a new romance to a happy baby to more money to more time with friends to… you get the idea.

What gets between You and What You Want?

a messy desk?
a sink full of dishes?
a neverending list of ToDos?
an un-vacuumed carpet?
an overflowing calendar?
the stuff you should do?
TV shows that you can’t resist?
a chocolate habit that won’t quit?

Whatever it is, that’s your clutter.

But mental clutter is different from physical clutter, right?

Yes.

And no.

Have you ever taken the time to clear one space of clutter (a desk, closet, drawer, your purse or wallet… anything really)?

I’ll bet when you were done, your mind was clearer. The room felt more spacious. Maybe you could breathe more easily.

That’s because physical clutter represents mental clutter. So when you take the time to clear the physical stuff, you get a mental lift as well. (And there’s even science behind this.)

So if you’re looking to clear some mental clutter, start with the physical stuff. And breathe a little easier.

Creating space for more

I truly believe that we have to clear space in our lives (physically, emotionally, mentally) in order to receive more of the good stuff we want.

For example, I have a small file holder thingie where I keep my clients’ information and notes. It’s got handles so it’s portable, a pretty linen exterior, and a bright green interior that makes me happy.

And last year while I was working on my coaching certification, I was getting stressed out about not having enough clients to get the hours I needed in time for my oral exam.

One day, I was looking at my file holder and noticed that I had crammed into it some papers from writing classes I had taken as well as other random non-client-related stuff.

There was no room for new client files.

So I cleared out the clutter. I found new homes for the important stuff and set the rest free to be recycled. This created enough space that I was inspired to go buy more of the pretty floral file folders I like.

Creating space and buying new folders felt like an invitation.

The following week I got 2 new clients.

Whether you’re into law of attraction or not, I believe that by moving and clearing that stuff out of my client file, I created the room not only in the file holder but in my brain and my heart to let in something more.

What do you want to make more space for in your life?

March 27, 2013June 16, 2017

of anchors, headless chickens, and shiny objects

What is mental clutter?

Some synonyms for the word clutter include: confusion, muddle, disorder, and jumble.

Have you ever felt your mind was jumbled? Or confused? Your thoughts were muddled or disordered? You have too much going on to focus on anything?

That’s mental clutter.

It’s the stuff that keeps us fuzzy and unfocused. It blocks us from getting stuff done, experiencing life fully, and really relaxing.

Mental Clutter comes in all sorts of flavors, but most of it fits into these three categories: anchors, headless chickens, and shiny objects.
Continue reading “of anchors, headless chickens, and shiny objects”

March 20, 2013June 16, 2017

do you have fomo?

This is part of my Spring Cleaning series that runs on Wednesdays through the end of Spring.

When I announced last week that I was starting this Spring Cleaning series, a friend asked “are you going to cover uncluttering the brain?”

And I said: “Yes!”

So instead of starting with physical clutter in your closets and kitchen pantry, that’s where I’m starting… with the stuff that clutters up our brains.

What clutters up your brain?

Answer that question in the comments and I’ll cover it in my next post.

In the meantime, I’d like to bring your attention to a growing epidemic in our culture: FOMO.

You may have FOMO if…

You check email, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram every 15 minutes (or every 3 minutes after you post something to see if anyone responds).
You have 10 or more tabs open in your browser at any given moment.
You have more than 5 Post-it notes on your desk and/or edge of your monitor reminding you of books to read, quotes to ponder, and stuff to do.
You are subscribed to more newsletters than anyone could possibly keep up with.
You never close your Facebook or email tabs.
You say “yes” to every invitation.
Your inbox has more than 100 emails in it, most of which you are keeping there “in case” you need it, find time to read it, decide to use the coupon this weekend, or maybe you might think about perhaps someday doing/attending/reading/using/responding to it.
You spend hours every day on Facebook, Twitter, and/or email.
You’ve overcommitted yourself. Your calendar is FULL of events, only half of which you really want to attend, because you never know who might be there or what might happen.

Fear Of Missing Out

How often do you subscribe to something, buy something, “save something for later” (not archive it, not delete it, not file it away, but add it to your “later” pile), or agree to attend a meeting/party/event because you are afraid you might miss out if you don’t go?

Yeah, me too.

My FOMO shows up the most in my information addiction. I subscribe to newsletters like a crazy person, thinking I really need to learn from this person/company only to find I really don’t have the time or the interest to actually read it. And then never unsubscribe because I might want to read it later (or feel guilty about unsubscribing).

I used to “save” emails by leaving them in my Inbox to read later or because it might end up being important. At one point I had over a thousand emails in my Inbox. Many of those were newsletters I thought I’d read someday.

But there is another way.

Continue reading “do you have fomo?”

March 13, 2013June 16, 2017

Life gets cluttered with stuff.

Stuff accumulates.

Then before we know it, we can’t find our life under all of the stuff.

Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating a little. You and I both know that everyone is not a hoarder, after all.

But…

Do you collect books to read someday but then never get around to most of them… like ever? (I do. In fact, I have a few from high school that I still plan to read someday.)

Is your inbox full of (hundreds of?) emails that you don’t need, want, or care to read? (Mine was until a couple months ago. I’ll tell you all about how I got to zero next week.)

Do you save plastic grocery bags to reuse someday but the pile has grown into a new life form? (Yes, I know this one well. I call mine Plassy.)

There’s gotta be a better way!

We both know that there is a better way. Right?
Continue reading “spring cleaning”