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Anger Sucks: Don’t Bottle it Up.

Most of my life, I felt like it was my job to keep my emotions under wraps.
Be stoic.
Never rock the boat.
Always comply.
And generally be a good girl.

And I was miserable because of it.

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Until a few years ago when I realized that I was filled to the brim with unspoken hurts and anger… some of it had been bottled up for so long that it had fermented into rage… and it was time to start finding ways to let it out (safely). Because it was eating me up from the inside and making me miserable.

If you’ve ever bottled up anger, felt scared that you would make someone upset because you didn’t agree with them, and did everything in your power to never let anyone else see the slightest hint that you might be upset, then this week’s video is for you.

A couple of links related to this week’s video:

Let me know in the comments below: how do you handle anger?

Click here to tweet this: “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”

P.S. It’s worth mentioning that I don’t think anger in and of itself is a “bad” emotion. There are no “bad” emotions. Emotions just are what they are. But when we bottle things up, they spoil like milk and block us from a fulfilling, flowing life.

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how to let go even when it feels like you can’t

This is part of my Spring Cleaning series that runs on Wednesdays through the end of Spring. In this series, we’ll explore the things that clutter our lives (especially, mental and emotional clutter) and how to let it go.

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It’s time to let go.

There is something you have been holding onto for years. You know the thing I mean.

It could be:

  • a pair of jeans you haven’t been able to wear for five years
  • a grudge with your brother who has made some bad choices in his life and said some unkind things at Christmas dinner three years ago
  • a flower vase that your mom gave to you but doesn’t match your style and you never use it and never will, it just sits in the cabinet taking up space
  • the anger you feel toward your stepdad for listening to your phone conversations in high school
  • a box of baby clothes in the garage that you keep even though your kids are already in middle school and you don’t really plan to have more at this point

… just to name a few.

But yours is probably different. Whatever it is, whether it is physical, mental, emotional, or familial, no matter if it is a good memory you are trying to hold onto way after its over or a bad memory that won’t leave you alone… no matter what it is, it’s time to let go.

(Note: I’m not saying to let go of the good memories, but the physical things you hold onto may not be adding any real value to your life now. Keep the memories, the photos, and a few small tokens. Let go of the rest.)

These things that we hold onto take up space in our lives. They occupy physical space, emotional space, and often mental space (as we retrace old conversations or dream up new ones that might make it all better). This is space that we could use right now to create new memories or to simply enjoy a full and relaxing breath.

It’s time to get real.

Continue reading “how to let go even when it feels like you can’t”