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Setting yourself up for success

2014-10-29 12.02.52I have a gremlin that always says, “But it’s just so hard…”. Maybe this gremlin never aged past 15. Or maybe she’s just a whiner. Either way, she sees everything as arduous and pretty near impossible to do.

Like now, the holidays are over and my goals are more or less set for 2015. I know where I’m headed and what I want to feel at the end of this year, but I find that gremlin’s voice cropping up an awful lot this week. “Oh, that will never work. It’s impossible. Where would you even start?”

But things are rarely as hard as I think they are.

And they are almost never as hard as she says they are.

AND… I’ve learned that I can make things much easier if I just plan ahead a little.

We’re not talking about big, detailed plans for the next however-many months. We’re just talking about thinking a little bit ahead (as in what’s the next step?).

Stuff like…

  • Setting out my workout clothes before I go to bed so that when I wake up at 6:30am to go to the gym, I don’t have to think about what to wear or dig through my closet in the dark (because my husband is still asleep). It makes it easier to just get up and go.
  • Cooking a little extra for dinner so I’ll have a healthy lunch tomorrow. This helps me avoid eating what’s easy (which is usually some sort of cheesy-bready-gutbomb).
  • Taking 5 minutes at the end of the work day to write out my ToDo list for tomorrow. This helps me stay on track and when I wake up, I have a general idea of what the day will bring. It’s also a way for me to stay connected to my goals by taking the time to check in… even just for 5 minutes.

These are small things, but it all matters.

How you start your day will affect how you feel all day long. What you eat affects your energy and clarity. Whether you exercise or not. If you take time to prepare for the day, week, month… it all adds up.

Just like skipping workouts and eating whatever is easiest can accumulate into weeks of lazy and pounds of unwanted blah. Making that extra little effort to help things go right can become healthy good habits and a smaller jean size.

This idea of setting yourself up for success works for business and leadership goals as well.

It’s like packing for a road trip. You could just pack a change of clothes and your wallet and hop in the car. But generally, the ride will be more pleasant and easier if you take a few minutes to plan out where you’re headed and maybe grab a few snacks and some tunes.

You don’t have to have every turn memorized, but knowing where you need to turn next is really helpful. The same is true when navigating toward your goals.

So with that in mind, how can you set yourself up for success? (both big and small)?

  • What little shifts can you make in your routine to make it flow more smoothly?
  • What barriers could you lower for yourself?
  • What’s the next thing that needs to happen for your goal, and what can you do now to help it go right?
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More ways to not live your best year in 2015

2014-09-21 07.39.44-2As the year draws to an end, I find myself thinking a lot about what possibilities 2015 holds, and why it seems so hard (for me) to accomplish what it is I want to accomplish and make real the things I resolve to do (like running another marathon). Do you ever feel that way?

So last time, I reflected on a few of the things we do that make it hard to succeed with our goals. And now that my Christmas-cookie-induced-brain-fog has lifted, I’ve thought of a couple more.

Sometimes we can’t see the forest for the trees.

You know when you get so bogged down in the details of something that you lose sight of what you’re even doing? Or when you get so busy doing the things that are “important” right now that you don’t think about what you might want a month or year or 5 from now?

We all do this at one time or another. Whether it’s eating whatever is available because it’s convenient (forgetting that what you really want is to lose 5 or 10 or 30 pounds), or an obsession with responding to email as they enter your inbox instead of using that time for more fulfilling things (or many other examples I trust I don’t need to list out because you know what you get yourself “busy” with).

This is why it’s important to take time to look at the bigger picture of your life.

What’s important? Where do you want to be in a year or 3 or 5? What lights you up?

Try this: Take out a blank sheet of paper and jot down whatever comes up for you when you consider the following questions:

  • What’s most important to me? (As in, if I’m 95 and never did it, I will regret this)./
  • What do you want your life to look like in 1 year? 3 years? 5 years? (There are no wrong answers, and even a blurry picture that evokes feelings is better than not taking a look).
  • What makes me feel alive?

When you have answers for those questions, consider how you want to shape the next bit of your life, whether it’s tomorrow, this month, or this year.

And sometimes we can’t see a single tree because we’re focused on the forest.

This happens to me a lot. I look at the big picture, I know what the dreams and visions are. I know the feelings and the overall plan with major milestones for getting from here to whatever the big picture is. But in the day-to-day of life, I lose sight of what needs to happen.

This is a problem because if you are only thinking big picture (strategical planning), and forget about the day-to-day (tactical stuff), nothing really gets done. At least not anything related to that big picture.

Chris Brogan says that your day is your week is your month is your year. Which means that what you do today impacts what you get done this week which impacts what you get done this month, etc.

It’s not enough to know the big picture. You also have to know what needs to get done today in order to make the vision real.

Try this: After you have your big picture laid out, take the time to consider what needs to happen along the way. The way I like to do this is to look at my goals for the year and then consider what needs to be done in 6 months in order to be on track. And then look at what needs to be done in 3 months in order to be on track in 6 months. And then 1 month. And then this week. (From there, I do my best to fit in little bits of goal-moving stuff every day… even if it as simple as sending an email to someone).

It’s the little things we do everyday that add up to the bigger goals.

At the end of the day, we need to do both kinds of planning: big picture (strategic) and front-line, day-to-day (tactical). If we are missing one, we are missing both.

How do you make sure you get done what is most important?

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How not to live your best year in 2015

2014-04-11 04.47.56I’ve seen loads of “Live Your Best Year Yet” videos, blog posts, free workbooks, and paid programs coming across my radar these last few weeks.

‘Tis the season for setting resolutions, goals, and intentions. But with the abysmal success rate most people seem to have sticking to their resolutions and goals, I can’t help wondering, why do we do it?

It’s just what people do at the end of the year.

So of course I do it, and I’m guessing you do too. But how many times have you ended the year only to look back at the goals you set and feel disappointed? Like you failed? Like you need to stuff your face with Christmas cookies to help you forget about all the things you didn’t do (once again) this year?

Yeah, me too.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

There are a few ways that we set ourselves up to fail.

  1. We write our goal or intention in a notebook somewhere and then don’t look at it again.
    Let’s face it, when the rubber meets the road, and life is running at full steam, it’s really easy to forget about that thing you wrote on a page in that notebook that one time in December. “Out of sight, out of mind” is a cliche for a reason.
    Try this instead: Write your intentions and goals on a post-it note that you see everyday. Alternatively, write your goals at the top of the page when you make your daily ToDo list. Either way, remember that to make anything stick, you need to keep it front and center.
     
  2. We pick things we think we should do, not things we want to do.

    I used to work for a company that, when it came time to fill in my self-evaluation (which included a space for my personal career goals), would ask me to set personal goals that would benefit the team. Huh?

    So, ever the good girl I would set the goals I thought I should set because that was what was expected from me. Turns out I was pretty good at making stuff up that sounded really good on paper. Too bad most of that paper got recycled.

    When you set goals out of expectations or “shoulds”, your heart isn’t in it. And if your heart isn’t in it, you won’t have much real motivation to do it (and it’s really just a waste of your energy). These goals feel like a burden instead of inspirational — which is really what this time of year is about.

    Try this instead: Ask yourself what you want to feel at the end of next year? What would make you feel more alive?

  3. We don’t know why our goals or intentions are important to us.

    Anything that we actually want to make happen in our life and in our world (goals, intentions, wishes, dreams, resolutions, whatever) need to be connected to our values, purpose, mission, and/or our why.

    When that connection is missing, something deep inside of us doesn’t really believe that this goal is worth our time. Or we don’t believe it’s doable. Or we don’t believe that it will make a difference. The bottom line is that without grounding it in what matters, we don’t believe in our goal, and it just floats away untethered.

    Try this instead: If you have already identified your purpose, values, mission, or your why, take the time to connect the dots between these guiding principles and the goals and intentions you set for the new year.

    If you haven’t already identified these things, you can start now. Here’s a shortcut: Take a look at your goal and ask yourself what’s important about it? Notice how you feel. You’re looking for what feels right more than what makes logical sense. Sit with it and trust your inner compass.

How do you keep yourself on track with your goals and intentions?

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What I learned about life from dirty dishes.

the girl is happy summer sun

I love a clean sink.

I breathe easier when the dishes are clean. I sleep better when everything is put away. And I feel happier when the counters are clear and ready for a new day’s worth of food activity.

And I’m not alone. There is research that shows how clutter increases your stress and reduces your focus. Also, I bet you find your life more relaxing when things are tidy.

Knowing this, I still resisted (and denied) that truth for a long time. I’d leave dirty dishes in the sink for days hoping that someone else would do them. Some days I even resented that no one else was doing them (though I didn’t really ask them to, I just assumed they’d do it because we were out of clean spoons… as if a couple of teenagers are going to voluntarily and spontaneously do the dishes. Facepalm).

Why do I have to be the one to do the dishes all the time? My inner teenager would whine.

I didn’t want “doing the dishes” to be part of my job description. Even if you set aside gender role stereotypes and all that, I never liked doing the dishes. It always felt like I was a wayward teen who was scolded into doing it because it was something my parents decided I needed to do. Even though I’ve been out of my teens for a long time. Even though I’m the parent now. Even though I want clean dishes.

It’s time to grow up.

Continue reading “What I learned about life from dirty dishes.”

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What you want to do vs. What needs to be done

Happy little girl washing the dishes in the kitchen.

I’ve been struggling to keep up with my business and writing since summer began. There are new and different demands on my time, as well old and familiar doubts cropping up again.

And I’m sitting here wondering: how do successful and creative people get stuff done?

I’m talking about those prolific artists of all genres who seem to always be creating. As if “writer’s block” doesn’t exist for them, and there is no such thing as a lack of inspiration.

I’ve read The War of Art (and Do the Work, and Turning Pro) by Steven Pressfield. So intellectually, I understand what needs to happen. But I’m wondering from a more physical, tangible, in my daily life kind of way. (And that’s not to say that Steven Pressfield’s books don’t have very applicable and practical stuff to practice in my daily life, they absolutely do. But it’s the difference between knowing in my head and knowing in my visceral-gut-heart-body-mind… do you know what I mean?).

So this has lead me to a Great Exploration. With many articles saved to Pocket to read later, several books at various stages of being read, and a number of thoughts jotted down in various notebooks.

And while I don’t have all of the answers, I have a few thoughts I want to share with you (as I invite you into this exploration with me).

Continue reading “What you want to do vs. What needs to be done”

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5 steps to prioritize your stuff and actually get it done.

This week I’m answering a question from April about the best way to get things done (see the video below).

There are a lot of productivity experts out there. I am not one of them.

I do, however, know what works for me.

From David Allen to Charlie Gilkey, and from Jocelyn K. Glei (with the folks at 99u) to Steven Pressfield. They all have enriched to my education as a doer of things.

I’ve tried Asana, Trello, the GTD system using index cards, the Pomodoro Method, and many other systems.

Why?

Because I’m an information junkie. And also because I’ve been searching for the right way to get stuff done. But you know what I’ve learned? That the system you use matters less than the habits you keep.

[ctt tweet=”Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.  ~Jim Ryun” coverup=”n068t”]

So in today’s video, I lay out 5 steps to go from “I don’t know where to start” to actually getting stuff done on the daily.

Hint: #5 is the most important step (without it, the rest don’t matter).

Leave me a comment below and let me know how you get stuff done. What are the tips and tools you have found that work for you?

Productivity Resources:

Do you have a question you’d like me to answer? Click here.

Note: the links to books above are affiliate links which means if you click on them and buy the book, I will make a few cents.

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