How not to live your best year in 2015

2014-04-11 04.47.56I’ve seen loads of “Live Your Best Year Yet” videos, blog posts, free workbooks, and paid programs coming across my radar these last few weeks.

‘Tis the season for setting resolutions, goals, and intentions. But with the abysmal success rate most people seem to have sticking to their resolutions and goals, I can’t help wondering, why do we do it?

It’s just what people do at the end of the year.

So of course I do it, and I’m guessing you do too. But how many times have you ended the year only to look back at the goals you set and feel disappointed? Like you failed? Like you need to stuff your face with Christmas cookies to help you forget about all the things you didn’t do (once again) this year?

Yeah, me too.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

There are a few ways that we set ourselves up to fail.

  1. We write our goal or intention in a notebook somewhere and then don’t look at it again.
    Let’s face it, when the rubber meets the road, and life is running at full steam, it’s really easy to forget about that thing you wrote on a page in that notebook that one time in December. “Out of sight, out of mind” is a cliche for a reason.
    Try this instead: Write your intentions and goals on a post-it note that you see everyday. Alternatively, write your goals at the top of the page when you make your daily ToDo list. Either way, remember that to make anything stick, you need to keep it front and center.
     
  2. We pick things we think we should do, not things we want to do.

    I used to work for a company that, when it came time to fill in my self-evaluation (which included a space for my personal career goals), would ask me to set personal goals that would benefit the team. Huh?

    So, ever the good girl I would set the goals I thought I should set because that was what was expected from me. Turns out I was pretty good at making stuff up that sounded really good on paper. Too bad most of that paper got recycled.

    When you set goals out of expectations or “shoulds”, your heart isn’t in it. And if your heart isn’t in it, you won’t have much real motivation to do it (and it’s really just a waste of your energy). These goals feel like a burden instead of inspirational — which is really what this time of year is about.

    Try this instead: Ask yourself what you want to feel at the end of next year? What would make you feel more alive?

  3. We don’t know why our goals or intentions are important to us.

    Anything that we actually want to make happen in our life and in our world (goals, intentions, wishes, dreams, resolutions, whatever) need to be connected to our values, purpose, mission, and/or our why.

    When that connection is missing, something deep inside of us doesn’t really believe that this goal is worth our time. Or we don’t believe it’s doable. Or we don’t believe that it will make a difference. The bottom line is that without grounding it in what matters, we don’t believe in our goal, and it just floats away untethered.

    Try this instead: If you have already identified your purpose, values, mission, or your why, take the time to connect the dots between these guiding principles and the goals and intentions you set for the new year.

    If you haven’t already identified these things, you can start now. Here’s a shortcut: Take a look at your goal and ask yourself what’s important about it? Notice how you feel. You’re looking for what feels right more than what makes logical sense. Sit with it and trust your inner compass.

How do you keep yourself on track with your goals and intentions?

I’m a slacker.

But that’s okay because you’re a slacker too.

I didn’t really just call you a slacker, did I? Yes, actually I did.

And here is why: you have things that you say you want to do, but you are not doing them. For reasons both known and unknown, you keep putting it off or finding other things that need to be done first or “forgetting” about it for months at a time.

How do I know this? Because you are human. And so am I…

  • I want to be a better blogger, but somehow I haven’t written a blog post since September 27th. (umm… hello? It’s December 9th. What the heck?)
  • I wanted to run a half marathon in December (a goal I set back in September), but I haven’t trained much at all.
  • I want to write a book, and even committed to writing a book proposal by the end of the year, but I somehow keep “forgetting” about it. (And again: it’s December 9th. Dude, what the heck?)

(there are way more things I want to do that I have not been doing, but I think you get the point.)

So, slacker, what do we do now?

It’s really simple (though not always easy)…

  1. Look at your list again and cross off the things that aren’t really that important (right now).
  2. Make time for what’s left.

As for me,
I am regrouping and making time to write on my blog.
I won’t be running a half marathon in December. I may pick one in the spring to train for though.
I probably won’t make my end of year deadline with a full book proposal, but I am making time to get started.

What are you re-committing to?

the c word

On Monday, I said that a dream is just a nice idea until you commit & take action. And that got me thinking more about the c word: commitment.

Let’s talk about Commitment for a minute.

After many false starts (on this blog, on my exercise routine, on diets, on… well, lots of stuff), I’ve realized that commitment is active.

It’s not a one time thing. When you stand next to your honey and say “I do”, your commitment does not end there. You wake up every day and commit to your marriage, whether you realize it consciously or not.

When you commit to losing weight, you have to make a choice and commit at every meal and whenever a workout time comes up.

And when you commit to your dream, to your remarkable life, to YOU, you have to do it every day.

But Patricia… that sounds like work.

Well… Yes and No.

On the one hand, it may take effort at first to stay the course, to recommit over and over, to really OWN IT.

On the other hand, when your effort is directed toward the thing that lights you up from within (aka your dream/passion/purpose/values/resonant hobby), it rarely feels like work.

Effort, yes. Work, no.

The effort might even feel really hard sometimes, like for me today, my gremlins woke up shouting at me. And it took real effort to recommit myself to keep moving forward, making my dream happen (a big part of which is writing this blog & connecting with you).

But now that I’m doing it, it does NOT feel like work. In fact, I feel content & full (not drained and empty like after a long day of work).

What lights you up from within?

what time is it?

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It’s Time!

There’s a cheer I remember from way back when I was a cheerleader (9th & 10th grade) that I think applies very well to my life right now. And your life too.

It went something like this:
(to the beat of stomp-clap, stomp-stomp-clap ;)

What time is it? … It’s time.
What time is it? … It’s time.
It’s time to go.
It’s time to fight.
It’s time to win this thing tonight.

Deep, right?

What’s the thing you “want to do” but never get around to it?

You know, that dream thing? That thing that you think would make you happy/healthy/fulfilled?

For me, it’s making the switch on this blog from chocolate, cupcakes, and food porn (not that there’s anything wrong with any of that, it’s just not where I’m at now) to life, inspiration, motivation, coaching, and living remarkably.

(I’ve also got dreams of writing a book and being interviewed by Oprah, but first things first).

So… dreams are awesome. I LOVE dreams & dreamers. Dreams are the best thing since popcorn with M&Ms.

But a dream is only a dream until you’re willing to grab it, put it in your pocket, and start running with it. That is to say…

A dream is just a nice idea until you commit & take action.tweet this.

So… What time is it? IT’S TIME!

Time to commit to your remarkable life… to YOU… to your dreams… to making it happen.

What are you ready to commit to?