chicken fried terror

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As I mentioned in my new year’s post, I’m changing the direction of this blog. Expanding beyond food and writing about things that are important to me now (things like: hey! I’ve become a certified a life coach and a stepmom and have a whole new relationship to food and health… and you know what? I’ve got some interesting things to say about it!).

And none of this is really new. I’ve been thinking about making these changes for 2 years (just ask my husband, he’s sick of hearing about it). And yet, even after I “outed” myself with that announcement on January 1st, it still took me until today (January 9th, that’s over a week!) to write even one word.

WHY?!

“Write blog post” has been at the top of my ToDo list every day this week, and at the end of the day when I did not write it, I highlighted it in orange. After a couple of days of highlighting my failure and feeling bad about it, I looked deeper.

I took a step back and asked “what’s really holding me back?”.

My answer? I’m scared. Terrified, actually.

I’m scared that I will expose myself in new and vulnerable ways and lose all of you (my readers).
I’m scared that I will fail. Or worse, be a failure.
I’m scared no one will like me without all of the chocolate and cupcakes.
And I’m scared that my vision is really just a pipe dream and I’ll end up being “just another” blogger (aka I’ll be mediocre… and isn’t mediocrity worse than failure?).

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I also realized that this has been the fear keeping me from writing for the last couple of years. So I have a choice:
I can remain paralyzed and continue to wish that everything I want in life “will just happen” OR…
I can live my life… I can “feel the fear and do it anyway” (which is the title of a book by Susan Jeffers that I keep meaning to read but still have not).

I choose life.

And the truth is, I probably will lose some readers. And that’s okay. I’m not going to make everyone happy. I’m going to make ME happy and in the process I hope to inspire a few others to do the same for themselves.

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Well, there you have it. I’m scared but doing it anyway. I hope you stick around, and wish you all the best if you choose not to. I’ll still be here if you change your mind.

What change or new direction do you want to take but are afraid to? When will you do it anyway?

Comments

  1. says

    This sounds so exciting! I see myself in so many of the things you stated above. I have been stumbling around trying to figure out what I really want to do. Kudos to you, I’m looking forward to what you have to share.

  2. says

    Still here! :D And don’t worry – I lose (and gain) readers, even when I don’t change a darn thing.

    My big scary thing this year is approaching food bloggers to use Fridgg… I’m terrified people won’t even give it a chance. But I know sooner or later I’m going to have to do it (even though my mind is saying, “Just wait until we get that one more feature out… then it will be perfect and I can approach everybody and they’ll love it…”)… (and I guess this is my sort of roundabout way of telling you, hey, I’ve got a new thing I made, it’s called Fridgg, and you should totally use it because you’re awesome and I’d love to have you be a part of it! ;) )

  3. Maryanne says

    “I’m searching for the sweet spot in life and everything.”
    For me, I sense a certain order, and I try to bring it into focus.
    Then there it is, oh joy, but within a short time . . .
    Excuse me, last night I watched a French film, Queen to Play,
    “without risk you can not win”, it was very good.
    . . . the pieces on the chess board shift,
    . . . and my next move would have been awesome.

  4. Daisy says

    Do it do it do it do it you wrote what I have been feeling for years….but always had an excuse not to….down to the dishwasher needed unloading….I was not a real follower.l.usually deleted in my inbox..but now I think it will be interesting…the world not need cupcake recipes ….ok maybe a few…we need to connect through real life emotions, thoughts, worries and joys.

  5. Lora says

    Glad to read what you have to say…
    maybe brownies lured us in for your bigger message!

    If it makes you feel any better….
    I have had a blog for almost a year that I’ve posted maybe 5 times to…
    Recently I threw all of that away and now it’s sitting there mostly blank.
    I’m not sure why I’m so stuck with it.

  6. April says

    This sounds like a great idea, you have a lot to share why not keep it one spot. We are all evolving as people and it helps to read about you path, thanks for sharing.

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