As I mentioned in my new year’s post, I’m changing the direction of this blog. Expanding beyond food and writing about things that are important to me now (things like: hey! I’ve become a certified a life coach and a stepmom and have a whole new relationship to food and health… and you know what? I’ve got some interesting things to say about it!).
And none of this is really new. I’ve been thinking about making these changes for 2 years (just ask my husband, he’s sick of hearing about it). And yet, even after I “outed” myself with that announcement on January 1st, it still took me until today (January 9th, that’s over a week!) to write even one word.
“Write blog post” has been at the top of my ToDo list every day this week, and at the end of the day when I did not write it, I highlighted it in orange. After a couple of days of highlighting my failure and feeling bad about it, I looked deeper.
I took a step back and asked “what’s really holding me back?”.
My answer? I’m scared. Terrified, actually.
I’m scared that I will expose myself in new and vulnerable ways and lose all of you (my readers).
I’m scared that I will fail. Or worse, be a failure.
I’m scared no one will like me without all of the chocolate and cupcakes.
And I’m scared that my vision is really just a pipe dream and I’ll end up being “just another” blogger (aka I’ll be mediocre… and isn’t mediocrity worse than failure?).
I also realized that this has been the fear keeping me from writing for the last couple of years. So I have a choice:
I can remain paralyzed and continue to wish that everything I want in life “will just happen” OR…
I can live my life… I can “feel the fear and do it anyway” (which is the title of a book by Susan Jeffers that I keep meaning to read but still have not).
I choose life.
And the truth is, I probably will lose some readers. And that’s okay. I’m not going to make everyone happy. I’m going to make ME happy and in the process I hope to inspire a few others to do the same for themselves.
Well, there you have it. I’m scared but doing it anyway. I hope you stick around, and wish you all the best if you choose not to. I’ll still be here if you change your mind.
What change or new direction do you want to take but are afraid to? When will you do it anyway?